Hetalia Drama CD: Volume 1

Hetalia Drama CD: Volume 1 is the second drama CD for Hetalia: Axis Powers, released on October 24, 2008 by Media Factory and Geneon Entertainment Japan.

Track listing
Germany starts, talking about the great Roman Empire, and how he suddenly vanished. Italy interrupts, asking Germany to tie his shoelaces. After he does, Italy asks if they can eat pizza, but Germany tells him to wait for another two hours 'til lunch. Italy ignores him in favor of looking at a triangle-shaped object out in the desert. Germany goes back to explaining how the Roman Empire controlled the Mediterranean, and then confesses that he looks up to him. He is interrupted by Italy again, who found a scorpion. This leads to Germany telling how he and Italy first met. Once again, Italy interrupts him by telling him about the cute girls he saw around town. Fed up, Germany bribes Italy with chocolate, telling him he'll get it if he's quiet for the next two hours. This lasts for only a few moments until Italy begins telling him about the cute girls he saw around town yesterday. Germany snaps and begins yelling at him. England complains about how loud Germany’s being, and France tells him it's one of summer's traditions.
 * 1: Prologue

The Nations decide to introduce themselves. Italy starts, greeting the listener (mentioning that if it's a cute girl, he's even happier) and telling them that the first Hetalia CD is finally getting started. Germany asks Italy if he can act a bit more mature. Japan tells him it's great that he's so energetic, mumbling something about him being so old, and hands a mic over to Italy. Italy begins to tell the listener that they will now begin with the formal introductions, but pauses mid-way to ask Japan how to pronounce a certain word. Germany asks him if he could at least pretend he's not reading off a script. Italy then introduces himself, talking about his favorite things. He starts mentioning some of his hobbies when he gets hiccups. While Japan hands him a glass of water, Germany introduces himself, just listing his name. Japan and Italy give a bit more information about him, embarrassing Germany. Japan goes next, giving a formal speech until Germany tells him to get on with it.
 * 2: Hetalia and Its Pleasant Companions

America barges in, with England blaming him for causing them to be so late. America introduces himself, saying that he also goes by the name "U.S.A.", since it sounds like a superhero's name. Japan again mentions how nice it is to be young. England goes next, mentioning that as "United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland", he has the second largest name in the world (and gets made fun of because of it). France chooses to finally make his appearance, saying something about how the hero always comes at the right moment. Italy states that he is the main character, and France tries to bribe him from the role, but fails when Germany intervenes. France then introduces himself, stating that he's the country of love, and that the reason why even snails have to pay taxes is all because of England. Immediately, England and France begin to argue, only to stop when Austria finally enters. When Germany complains about his tardiness, Austria scoffs and says that everyone must have some sort of pastime and appreciate their surroundings. Germany tells him to just admit he got lost. Austria begins to introduce himself, but then states that he can't do it properly without a piano. Japan mutters about someone missing, someone who goes "Kol Kol," and America tells him he must be thinking of Canada. Lithuania then rushes in, telling everyone that Russia is coming. When Italy asks him why they're so late, he starts to explain until Russia scares him into being silent. Russia then introduces himself, stating that he's the biggest country on Earth. Lithuania tries to do the same, but Russia does it for him, saying that Lithuania is kind of like his subordinate. Japan tells Italy that everyone's finally here, and that they should get started. Germany tries to stop everyone, saying he doesn't want to start in this mess, but fails.

France comes to tell England that he’s thinking about giving up the title of “The World’s Most Sensual Entity” to him. When England asks him what he means, France explains that that’s how most people see him. He says he must be oozing sexual pheromones without knowing it. England mutters something about the pheromones bit, and tells France that people often use the expression “French kiss”, so he pictures him as being erotic. France counters, telling him that he read in a newspaper that wherever England is he can *beep*, and that even in public bathrooms and pubs, he has *beep* condoms and *beep* vibrator vending machines. He says that it’s alright, that he can advertise his agricultural products and go on living like that. England stutters that if they’re talking about “The World’s Most Sensual Entity” then wouldn’t Greece be more suitable for the role? After all, he’s number one for sexual frequency in the world. France agrees, but says that Greece’s activities aren’t normal. England asks him how he knows, and France asks him if he really wants to know in return. England screams at him to get away from him.
 * 3: The Person Responsible For The World's Perversion

America suddenly appears, along with Japan, stating that if you’re a football player with some muscles, or a cheerleader with an ample chest, you’ll be treated as a sexy person, even if you’re built like Germany. Japan marvels at his incredible sense of values. England quickly asks Japan to back him up, telling him that France is saying that he’s horny, and to prove him wrong. America agrees with France. Japan apologizes and says he can’t really help England either, but it’d be fine if he got into 2-D things, too. He explains that if he does, his body won’t be sullied, but his heart might be a little. England protests a bit, but Japan tells him that if he turns on his computer, he can meet them right away, and that it’ll even look like he’s working to others. He shouts with pride that in this time of the Internet, it’s officially the 2-D age. England says he finally understands why Japan came dead last in the frequency of sex in the world, and France agrees.

A narrator explains how a long time ago, Lithuania used to be very poor, and that eventually he has brought to see America by England to find some work. Arriving at America's house, England comments on the mess, then says it's perfect timing. America tells him he's a really busy guy, but when England explains the situation, he agrees. He greets Lithuania (already haven forgotten his name, saying "Lithu-whatever") and tries to find him on his map. England snaps at him and tells him to go find another map that doesn't just have America on it. After Lithuania points out where he is (educated guess), he chirps that America seems to be an honest person, and that he feels a lot better now. England stutters at that, and America asks teasingly if he's jealous.
 * 4: Lithuania's Out-Sourcing

England is looking through his mail (not bothering to read France's, and actually having someone throw it out for him because of the kiss mark on it) when he finds one from Lithuania. Curious as to how he's been, he sets everything else aside to read it. Lithuania starts by greeting him, mentioning that it's been a month since he started working for America. He comments on the weather (the days are still hot), and some bluejays he found (apparently, they're common in America and Canada). In a flashback, Lithuania is trying to wake up America. When America begs for another thirty minutes, Lithuania tells him thirty minutes had passed since the last time he tried to wake him. America doesn't seem to understand, but then he suddenly jumps out of bed after Lithuania informs him it's 8 o'clock. While America is running around, he tells him breakfast is ready, his newspaper and wristwatch are on the table, and as for his necktie, the striped one is fine. America pauses for a moment to think, and says that since he's meeting Mexico, it might not be such a good idea. Back to the present, Lithuania finishes his letter by saying that working for America is just beyond easy, and that America has been muttering about wanting to hang out with him more, so he should come over to visit. England decides to go, but just to check up on Lithuania.

Later, he arrives at America's house, asking to see Lithuania. America tells him he's out shopping but will be back later. He asks if England wants anything to drink, but he only has coffee to offer. England asks if he's still mad about their fight 150 years ago, and America tells him to calm down. Lithuania then arrives and tries to greet England, but instead asks for a moment, saying that he can't get "this kid" to let go of him. He scolds the "kid", telling him that it's bad to sneak up on people like that. Tony tells him that Lithuania playing with that whale is what's bad. When England asks Lithuania how he's able to put up with all this, Lithuania tells him to live with both Poland and Russia 24/7, and then he'll figure out his secret. He then thanks England for his concern, but assures him he's fine.

America begs Lithuania to allow him to sleep with him. Lithuania asks him if he's always like this after watching something scary, but agrees. When he's settled, America tells him that when he was a child, he would stay with England instead, but that England would always fall asleep before him, leaving him to his scary thoughts. After discussing England for awhile, Lithuania then tells America about how he used to do the same with Poland. America mentions that he used to be a major superpower with Poland before, but Lithuania responds by saying that they dominated in agriculture, and eventually lost to Russia. America asks him if he's ever given thought to getting back together with Poland, and he says that yes, if he could, it would be nice. As he begins to look back at all the happy times, he falls asleep mid-sentence, and like England, leaves America wide-awake.

Japan explains that even though European affairs are very complicated, for someone who's been inside since the Tokugawa era, it's very stimulating. Just then, Italy comes in screaming he was sorry. Japan asks him what's wrong, and Italy explains that he ran away from training. He asks Japan that if Germany comes around, to tell him that he can't become all muscular like him and that he didn't want to run anymore, so he just went to get ice cream. Japan scolds him, and Italy explains that he'll just die with that kind of training. Suddenly, they hear Germany screaming down the road, and Italy runs off it.
 * 5: I Take The Axis

Germany greets Japan and asks him if he's seen Italy around. Japan gives him Italy's message, imitating his voice while doing so. Germany rants about Italy for a bit, later deciding he'll just wait for Italy to get hungry and come back. He says that when he does so, he'll tie him down and spend two hours teaching him the "fundamentals of physical strength and the importance of training". Japan tells him to calm down, that he doesn't believe Italy has any bad intentions, but Germany continues, saying that physical strength plays a role in everything you do. Japan mentions that Italy still manages to run away from him everyday, and Germany says that that's a little different.

Suddenly, a loud crack scares Japan. Germany mutters that it's "him" and apologizes. Japan questions him, but Germany turns his attention on Austria, asking him if he's blown up yet another sponge cake. Austria greets them and explains that he was simply cracking eggs. Germany asks if he can crack eggs normally, and Austria tells him to do it instead, if he has such a problem with it. He does so, and they crack normally. Japan is convinced that the eggs change sound with whoever cracks them and vows to research them in his own country. Germany points out that apparently, Austria can pour flour fine, and Japan is mystified. Germany proceeds to tell Austria that he can't stand the noise, as it scares his dogs, and Austria replies with: "It's all because you made me merge with you, wasn't it, you great dolt?!" Germany screams at him to not say things that can be taken the wrong way. As they continue to argue, Japan tries to reassure them. Italy then runs back with a cat that he had found, and Germany turns his anger on him.

England laughs to himself, saying that it was a great idea to come and spy on the Axis. France agrees, but says he already had an idea of how it would turn out. England then brags about his newest curse involving his pinky toenail, and France makes fun of him. Then, turning back to the Axis, they discover that they're actually getting along. Pissed, England blames it on France, who then invites him out for a drink.


 * 6: Supersize You!


 * 7: Happy Birthday To You!


 * 8: Shouting S.O.S From The Center Of The World!


 * Bonus Track: Cast Commentary

Voice Cast

 * North Italy: Daisuke Namikawa
 * Germany: Hiroki Yasumoto
 * Japan: Hiroki Takahashi
 * America: Katsuyuki Konishi
 * England/UK: Noriaki Sugiyama
 * France: Masaya Onosaka
 * Russia: Yasuhiro Takato
 * Lithuania: Ken Takeuchi
 * Austria: Akira Sasanuma
 * Narrator: Kishô Taniyama

Trivia

 * In the drama CD version of S.O.S, the Allies (minus China), Lithuania, and Austria are stranded on the island along with the Axis.